Lack Of Me
by astral-angel
Summary: Lita's forced to manage one of her worst enemies...what happens when their friends interfere? Characters - Lita, Jericho, Christian, Edge, Stacy Kiebler, Brock Lesnar & more!
1. Default Chapter

Lack Of Me 

**WWE**

**Disc: **None of the characters you recognize belong to me.

**Rating: **G/PG

**Spoilers: **Roster split ended after Judgement Day. Stephanie, Austin and Bischoff are all co-GM's. Edge isn't hurt.

**Pairings: **Lita/Christian, Stacy/Brock, Victoria/Jericho, Lillian/Edge

**Note: **Since this was the fic that got the most votes in the poll I did a couple of days ago, I thought I might as well start with it. Tell me what you think. This is a challenge response to a challenge from Karen

- Lita/Edge, Lita/Jeff, Lita/Christian, or Lita/Jericho

- Torrie Wilson as a bitch

- A nasty Test/Stacy break up over the Girls Gone Wild thing.

- Torrie getting put in a match against one of the tougher Raw divas (i.e. Lita, Jazz, Trish, Molly, Victoria, etc.) and getting her butt kicked. 

- Jerry Lawler getting the crap kicked out of him by Lita's boyfriend for making one too many crude comments

Part (1/?) 

She stared at the man in front of her with a shocked expression. 

"Excuse me??" She asked, disbelief tingeing her voice. The two men sitting in front of her both smirked.

"You heard us…" The dark haired man started talking, but was interrupted by his co-worker.

"Shut up Bischoff…look, Lita, I'm sorry…but for once, he and I are in complete agreement. I mean, we have totally different reasons for wanting to do it, but it's final." Stone Cold Steve Austin told the redheaded diva calmly.

"What about Stephanie? Doesn't she get a say in this?" Lita asked, anger lacing through her voice. 

"Nope…majority rules…" Eric Bischoff told her happily. Lita glared at him, resisting the urge to slap the smug smirk off his face. 

"The two of you are out of your bloody minds!!! Do you actually think that this is going to work, that we'll be able to work together?" Cause, you know, if you do, I'm pretty sure the WWE employs a couple of good psychiatrists…" She half-yelled at them, her hazel eyes flashing. Austin grinned. The girl had spunk. 

"Yeah, actually, they do…but that's beside the point."

"Well, then, what the hell is the bloody point? You have to know that we'll kill each other before the week is out!" 

"The point, Lita, is that you were cleared to wrestle less than two months ago. I don't want you back in the ring until you're ready. Therefore, you manage."

She glared at the Texas Rattlesnake, an annoyed expression on her face.

"I get that…I really do. But why can't I just manage Edge, or Brock? Hell, even Benoit would do…why the hell are you putting me with him of all people? I mean, honestly, you can't be drunk already, can you?" 

"Damnit Red, don't give him any ideas!!" Bischoff growled at her, a resigned look entering his eyes.

Austin snorted. "You wish…actually, I put you with him because he's an arrogant asshole who can't keep his mouth shut…and giving him a manager, one who hates him, will piss him off immensely." Lita rolled her eyes.

"Tell me something I don't already know…and by the way, the feeling's mutual." She muttered, before a speculative look entered her eyes. "If I have to walk out with him, and I'm not saying I will, but if I do, can I at least screw with his matches?" She asked curiously.

"Hell, I don't care what you do, as long as you go out there with him. And it's not negotiable." Austin told her impatiently, fighting back a grin. She was feisty, that was obvious enough. The tall diva frowned again.

"But seriously, him?" She asked, walking to the door. Austin sighed. 

"Yes, Lita…you are as of now, officially, Chris Jericho's manager." He looked around, a glint appearing in his eyes. "Now, where did I put that damn beer…" Bischoff sighed, shutting his eyes…it was going to be a long night.

**TBC???**


	2. Part 2

Lack Of Me 

**WWE**

**Disc: **None of the characters you recognize belong to me.

**Rating: **G/PG – minor uses of offensive language

**Spoilers: **Roster split ended after Judgement Day. Stephanie, Austin and Bischoff are all co-GM's. Edge isn't hurt.

**Pairings: **Lita/Christian, Stacy/Brock, Victoria/Jericho, Lillian/Edge

**Part (2/?)**

Lita frowned as she walked through the corridors of the arena, ignoring the various looks that some of the wrestlers sent her way. Her mind was still busy processing what Austin and Bischoff had just told her less than twenty minutes before, so it was no surprise that she wasn't really paying attention to her surroundings or the speed she was walking at.

"Watch where you're going!" The voice was all too familiar to Lita as she looked up at the wrestler she had just collided with. 

"Oh great…just the jack ass I was looking for…" She spat out before getting up off the floor. The redheaded diva glared at the blonde before smirking as realization dawned. She laughed bitterly, the sound lightening a little bit as his confused look deepened. 

"You really don't know, do you?" She asked him curiously and then frowned as a voice broke into their conversation. 

"Man, I thought you were only getting a drink…and why are you with that skank?" Christian asked, walking up to them. Lita sighed, an annoyed expression on her face. 

"What is this, an asshole convention or something?" Another voice was heard; cutting into whatever Lita was about to say. She turned around, smiling when she saw who it was. 

"Hey Brock!" The diva said cheerily, waving at the large man before frowning. "Did you just call me an asshole?" The tall blonde man grinned, holding his palms up defensively.

"Of course not…I was talking 'bout the two idiot's behind you…" He assured her, before his expression turned serious. "They bothering you, Red?" 

Lita grinned before replying. "Nah…well, Christian maybe, but I was actually looking for Jerky here…" She motioned towards Jericho, smirking at the slightly worried look that appeared on Christian's face as Brock glared at him. 

"You know, you still haven't told me why you were looking for me…" Jericho put in, before smirking while he checked his watch. "And do you think you could hurry it up a bit? I do have better things that I could be doing instead of standing here in the presence of cheap trash like you…"

Lita scowled angrily, before sneering at him again. "You know, I'm kinda glad that they haven't told you just yet…" Chris sighed impatiently.

"Told me what?" 

"How do you feel about having a manager?" She asked him, snickering as his expression changed to one of mild horror.

"You've got to be kidding me!" He sputtered out, disbelief lining his face. Brock and Christian looked liked they weren't sure whether they should laugh or look shocked. Lita smirked again.

"Apparently Bischoff and Austin finally managed to agree on something…" She turned around and walked away, Brock following behind. She grinned as she heard Jericho swear profusely, before turning her head back, and smirking at Jericho one last time.

"Oh, and Chris…don't count on winning anytime soon…I'm planning to have a lot of fun screwing with your matches…"

TBC? 


	3. Part 3

Lack Of Me 

**WWE**

**Disc: **None of the characters you recognize belong to me.

**Rating: **Has been changed to R for slightly sexual situations. 

**Spoilers: **Roster split ended after Judgement Day. Stephanie, Austin and Bischoff are all co-GM's. Edge isn't hurt.

**Pairings: **Lita/Christian, Stacy/Brock, Victoria/Jericho, Lillian/Edge

Part 3 

He stormed into the locker room he was sharing with his best friend, his blue eyes shooting sparks. 

"I can't believe this! Why me? Why her?" Christian watched amused, as Jericho angrily paced the room.

"Geezus Chris…calm down!" The blonde said, a smirk on his face. "So you have some tits and ass accompanying you to the ring now…big deal…"

Jericho snorted, his expression not changing. "Tits and ass? Lita? Yeah, she's gorgeous, but that's like, a standard requirement for being a diva…" He glared at the younger man. "I'm more worried about what she said before she walked off…"

"What, that she'd screw with your matches?" Christian eyed him sceptically. "If she does, just put her in the Walls or something…not like you haven't done it before…"

Jericho gave a short humourless laugh. "Have you seen the guys she's been hanging out with lately? Lesnar, Benoit…" He glanced at Christian through the corner of his eye. "Edge…"

Christian's eyes flashed at the mention of his older brother before shutting down, his eyes like twin glaciers. "They probably just want to get in her pants…that is, if they already haven't…"

"I doubt she's sleeping with Benoit or Lesnar…Edge, on the other hand, got there sometime last year…" Jericho drawled, watching the way Christian's face tightened as Edge was mentioned yet again. 

"So my brother's banging the tramp? Huh…would've thought he had better taste than that…" Jericho sighed, running his hands through his hair.

He was about to say something when a knock on the door interrupted him. Exchanging a glance with Christian, he opened the door, only to find himself staring into the apprehensive eyes of Lillian Garcia.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The tall blonde leaned against the door frame, a seductive smile on her face. She stepped forward, pushing the door shut behind her as she flipped her long blonde hair over her shoulder. 

Test watched her, his eyes travelling over the tanned legs left bare by the barely there miniskirt she was wearing, stopping at her breasts, staring appreciatively at the amount of cleavage on show. 

"Hey beautiful…" He leered at her, reaching out to grab the blonde diva, his lips descending on Torrie's as his hands squeezed and moulded her breasts. Laughing, she flung her hands around his neck, a smirk on her face.

"Drew! What if your girlfriend walks in?" She said breathlessly, enjoying the feel of the Canadian's tongue on her neck. Test lifted his head long enough to leer at the blonde, his voice heavy with passion. 

"Who cares? Stacy knows what's good for her…and baby, I'm good for her. Hell, she's the one who set up the fucking Girls Gone Wild thing…" He laughed, his hands sliding under Torrie's halter top. "I have to admit though, I really hadn't expected you to 'go wild' in my hotel room though…"

Torrie smirked. "What can I say…I see what I want, and I go for it." With that, the blonde diva pulled Test down for a kiss, the two lovers oblivious to Stacy's tearstained face as she looked in from the slightly open doorway.

**TBC **


End file.
